Previously: This is what happened when I mixed DogShaming and Creationists
At the time of it’s release I thought it was a waste to press a CD for local bands who had mostly broken up or moved away (including Ratliff herself at the time), but looking back I can see it’s brilliance. Honestly there isn’t one bad track on here, and for anyone who wants a snap shot of what the scene was like in the late 90s, this would be the best place to start.
Read the whole review here.
Found amongst old tweets, a hashtag #HipHopBreakfastCereals started (I believe) by @JohnMoe with “Quisp Quosp” and “Ol’ Dirty Bunches of Oats”. Below are the suggestions I tweeted. They’re magically delicious.
Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Fibre
Bone, Thugs N Honeycombs
Honey Nut Coolios
The Sugar Smacks Gang
Run DMC’s Raisin Hell
Boyz II Mini-Wheats
The Miseducation of Cap’n Crunch
Straight Outta Cracklin’ (Oat Bran)
Fear of a Bran Planet
AmeriKKKa’s Most Wheated
How Ya LIFE Me Now?
“The good Lord said to do whatever I gotta do, and he didn’t say, ‘Pizza Dog: be polite.'”
“I don’t have to do nothin’ but stay black and eat pizza.”
“You know what he’s saying right now? ‘Damn dog can’t eat my pizza!’ You know how he’s saying it? On an empty stomach.”
“We sink, we swim, we rise, we fall – We share our pies together.”
“I want you to get this straight! Most of the dogs here are here because they care! About those pizzas out there! This school, this fight, they are in it with you! They take it home at night, the same as you! They are sick of Domino’s, and so am I!”
This post, as is life, was inspired by Pizza Dog, Fishboy and Morgan Freeman.
In the summer of 2005, I went on tour with Will Johnson for a week. He was solo-ing the South and I was working on a book project where we’d discuss every single song he ever recorded. The project was shelved after my dad passed away—I stopped working on it for a while and Will has since released a grillion more albums. One of these days he’ll slow down for a few days and I’ll try to catch up.
But that week with Will was a fun one—I got a small taste of life on the indie-rock road, and Will got to drive around Alabama at 3 am looking for an open convenience store that sold tampons. We both learned a lot.
Today I’ve been packing for my move to Texas and I found some of my notes from the tour. Most were written in Jackson, MS, where Will played a small club called W C Dons.
7/18. W C Dons. Looks like somebody’s basement. Lots of mismatched couches, easy chairs and assorted Walmart furniture. No lights except for a chandelier with half the bulbs out. Sitting at a bar made out of doors—knobs and latches still attached. Feels like we inherited a haunted fixer-upper and are in store for some wacky mishaps. It’s Monday night in Jackson, MS. Awesome.
We had a lot of downtime (TOO MUCH? HAHAHA NOPE.) in Jackson, and Will and I started speculating about what the name W C DON actually meant. Sitting on a probably-scabies-filled sofa in that basement, we made this list.
As it turns out, WC DON stands for We Couldn’t Decide On a Name. Go wild with nougat, y’all.
*That is the thing I did that led to me finding these notes! WEIRD!
I laughed so hard at something Matt Tobey said at our comedy writers’ retreat this year. Then like an hour later I tried to tell someone else and I had already forgotten. Today I remembered.
Basically, a few of us had been making references to “deez nuts” all night, because there was a jar of nuts and we are all eleven. And then the next morning I was talking to Matt and he said something like, “Yeah all I had to eat was doze nuts.” And then I laughed forever and ever amen.
It reminded me of our first year of camp when we were sitting around eating S’mores. Lisa said to someone, “Hey do you want the rest of this one?” and that person asked, “Why?” and without missing a beat, Matt chimed in, “Because she doesn’t want N’mores.”
We have fun!
Photo by Ahm!
I found this gem in an old Chat history:
IAN: I had a dream the other night that I was raped by the ghost of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
MATT: Hooray! My Arnold Schwarzenegger Ghost costume works! (Also, I raped your twin brother dressed as Danny Devito.)
IAN: Hooray, my “twin brother” costume works!
Once upon a time I was having a ton of fun with these Nic Cage “colorforms” from Brandon Bird. I created a daily adventure, mixing and matching the set’s three different Nics, the two scenery backgrounds and three or four other accessories.
Eventually I ran out of combinations, so I added in pieces from other colorform sets, like Mickey Mouse, Pee Wee’s Playhouse, and WWF (back when that still stood for Worldwide Wrasslin’ Federation).
I wrote a theme song with Ken Grobe, who also sang and recorded it:
Who wants to have an adventure?
Who wants a haunted ice cream cone?
Who wants to go to a castle or a beach?
Who thinks that space is a place he can reach?
Who has an odd impediment of speech?
Finally, I just started sticking the Nics to my computer monitor.
Then Nic Cage got arrested on charges of domestic abuse battery and disturbing the public. I gave him one last adventure and then retired him.
Happy Valentine’s Day!